Master the Meltdown: How to Regulate Big Emotions (Part 1)

Simple But Powerful Strategies to Help You Manage Big Feelings

Feeling overwhelmed with your emotions? You're not alone.

Ever feel like your emotions are in the driver’s seat, and you're just along for the ride? Whether it’s frustration boiling over at work, anxiety creeping in before social events, or snapping at loved ones—learning to regulate big emotions can dramatically enhance your quality of life.

Here are a few simple but powerful strategies to help you regulate your emotions.

Strategy #1: Notice and Name Your Emotions

Emotions are like children - they get louder when you ignore them, and they tend to settle down when you give them a little attention.

We can greatly decrease the intensity of an emotion simply by noticing it and naming it. This practice, often called "affect labeling," activates your prefrontal cortex—the area of the brain responsible for rational thinking—which helps soothe your amygdala (the emotional center of your brain)².

This simple step builds awareness, a cornerstone of emotional regulation. Interestingly, research shows that the ability to use more nuanced and differentiated emotional language—sometimes referred to as emotional granularity—is associated with better mental health and emotion regulation³.

Practical Practice: Try out this excellent affect labeling app - "How We Feel". I've been using it for some time and I've personally found it incredibly helpful.

Strategy #2: Mindful Breathing

If your mind feels like a mess of tangled thoughts and overwhelming feelings, try mindful breathing. It directly engages the part of your nervous system that helps you relax (the parasympathetic nervous system), which in turn calms emotional responses⁴.

Next time you're feeling overwhelmed by a big emotion, try this simple but powerful breathing exercise, described by the late Thich Nhat Hanh¹⁰:

• As you breathe in, say to yourself, "Breathing in". As you breathe out, say to yourself, "Breathing out." As your mind starts to wander (it will), simply notice the wandering without judging it—and gently bring your attention back to your breath and carry on.

If this works for you and you’d like to learn more, I’d highly recommend the book Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Strategy #3: Reframe Your Thoughts

Your emotions are deeply intertwined with your thoughts. Sometimes, it’s not the thing that happens to you that is upsetting, but rather the meaning we make of it. Reframing can be a powerful (albeit difficult) strategy to manage emotions by shifting your perspective¹.

This isn't about forcing positivity or tricking yourself into delusion—it’s about recognizing your own biases and offering yourself a more balanced and compassionate interpretation. It helps soften the emotional impact without denying reality.

Ready for More Strategies?

If these first three strategies resonated with you, Part 2 of this series dives even deeper. You'll learn about movement-based regulation, shifting your physiological state, and how connection with others can help restore calm and resilience.

Read Part 2: How to Regulate Big Emotions (Continued)

Struggling to Regulate Big Emotions? We Hope You Reach Out

Life can get pretty unpleasant when our emotions constantly overwhelm us—or when we feel like we need to constantly stuff them down. If you're struggling, we hope you'll consider reaching out to a trained therapist. We'd be happy to meet you and navigate this journey with you. You're not alone, and help is closer than you think.

Works Cited

1. Gross, James J. "Emotion Regulation: Current Status and Future Prospects." Psychological Inquiry, vol. 26, no. 1, 2015, pp. 1–26.

2. Lieberman, Matthew D., et al. “Putting Feelings into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity in Response to Affective Stimuli.” Psychological Science, vol. 18, no. 5, 2007, pp. 421–428.

3. Kashdan, Todd B., et al. “Emotion Differentiation as Resilience Against Depression and Anxiety: Evidence from Laboratory and Daily Life Studies.” Emotion, vol. 15, no. 3, 2015, pp. 303–315.

4. Huberman, Andrew. “The Science of Mindfulness.” Huberman Lab Podcast, Stanford University, 2021.

5. Hanh, Thich Nhat. Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life. Bantam, 1991.

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