Master the Meltdown: How to Regulate Big Emotions (Part 2)
- Peter Wong
- May 23
- 4 min read
Updated: May 24
Using physiology and connection to alter your mood
In Part 1, we explored three simple but powerful emotional regulation strategies: naming your emotions, mindful breathing, and reframing your thoughts.
In this follow-up, we go beyond the mind. Because sometimes, trying to think your way out of big feelings is like trying to think your way out of a fire. When emotions get that powerful, effective emotional regulation often means getting out of your head - and getting back into your body.
"Get out of your head, get into your body."
Let’s dive into three more essential (and often underrated) strategies for regulating emotions. If you missed the first three, be sure to check out Part 1 for strategies like naming emotions, breathing through overwhelm, and reframing thoughts.
Strategy #4: Check in With Your Basic Needs
When we think about regulating our emotions, most people think about doing something different in their minds. But your emotions don't just live in your mind—they live in your body, too.
The first thing to do is to check in with the basics. Ever notice how sometimes you can feel like your life is the absolute worst and it’ll never get any better… until you have a burger? Big emotions are often amplified by unmet physiological needs. Are you sleep-deprived? Dehydrated? In need of sunlight? In need of burger? Your nervous system really struggles to regulate if it’s running on empty.
"Big emotions are often amplified by unmet physiological needs."
Practical tips when having a meltdown: Check in with your body. Did you sleep poorly last night? When was the last time you ate, or had a glass of water? When was the last time you saw the sun? Hit the pause button, get something in your stomach, take a power nap if you are able - meet your physiological needs as best as you can before you attach too deeply to your current thoughts and emotions.
Strategy #5: Alter Your Physiological State
Sometimes, a gentle shift in the nervous system is enough (having a burger, taking a walk). When you're really stuck, trying giving your nervous system a bit more of a shock.
Take a cold shower. Seriously. Start warm, then go just cold enough to shock your body a little bit and make it uncomfortable. Initial cold exposure releases adrenaline, which shocks the nervous system - and then it activates the dive reflex, calming the nervous system¹. It’s also great for your health and - and if you stick out for a few extra minutes, it can increase sustained levels of dopamine⁴. You'll hate it at first, but keep at it!
Try cyclic sighing or controlled hyperventilation. These breathwork techniques can reduce anxiety and elevate mood². One particular form of this has been recently popularized by extreme athlete Wim Hof. You can access his excellent guided breathing video here. In this exercise, you temporarily oversaturate your body with oxygen - releasing a healthy dose of adrenaline into your system.
Disclaimer: Safety first. Make sure you do this in a safe place (not in the car or near water).
Move your body. Sometimes we get stuck—feeling miserable in the corner of a room, trying to work out problems in our heads. As hard as it is, get up and move about. Go for a run. Do some push-ups. Throw fists at a punching bag. Turn on a headbanger and dance angrily in your living room—anything that signals to your body that it's safe to settle again.
Strategy #6: Seek Connection
For some people, reaching out when in distress is an obvious point. For others, it may feel pointless, even unpleasant. Maybe you're afraid it’ll change how someone sees you. Maybe you’ve tried before - and all you were left with was some bad advice and an uncomfortable friend who couldn't wait to change the subject.
Still, connection isn’t just comforting—it’s a biological need. Having someone to turn to is a vital resource for emotional regulation. Opening up to someone trusted stimulates oxytocin release, which soothes the stress response and strengthens emotional resilience³.
Not ready for a deep talk? That’s okay too. Sometimes it's enough just to be around good people and have a laugh or to get into a pick-up basketball game.
Here's another strategy that works for a lot of people:
Reach out to a friend and let them know that
You're going through a tough time (so you don't have to fake it around them, which can make things worse)
You want to hang out to get your mind off of things (so they know you don't want to talk about it).
Note: If you don't have anyone you can trust - I hope you'll reach out and send us a message at the Therapy Grove! We promise we won't talk your ear off.
Final Thought on How We Regulate Big Emotions
Sometimes, big emotions can knock out your rational mind. You try to think your way out, but you ping-pong in your own skull for a couple of hours and feel even worse. Remember, in those times, get out of your head and get back into your body.
If this series has been helpful and you’d like support in putting these strategies into practice, we’d be honoured to walk that path with you. You’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.
Works Cited
Nakamura, Yukari, et al. “Effects of Face Immersion in Cold Water on Cardiac Vagal Tone and Anxiety.” International Journal of Psychophysiology, vol. 126, 2018, pp. 45–51.
Feinstein, Justin S., et al. “The Efficacy of Breath-Based Interventions for Mental Health: A Review of Current Evidence.” Journal of Clinical Psychology, vol. 76, no. 11, 2020, pp. 1990–2008.
Cozolino, Louis. The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: Healing the Social Brain. W.W. Norton & Company, 2017.
Yankouskaya, Ala, et al. "Short-Term Head-Out Whole-Body Cold-Water Immersion Facilitates Positive Affect and Increases Interaction between Large-Scale Brain Networks." Biology, vol. 12, no. 2, 2023, p. 211. MDPI, https://doi.org/10.3390/biology12020211.
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