Why Talking Helps When You're Stuck In Rumination
- Peter Wong
- Jun 12
- 3 min read
Understanding Rumination and the Power of Saying it Out Loud
What Is Rumination, Actually?
Rumination is when your thoughts spin in circles but never move you forward. It’s the passive, repetitive replay of your problems—especially what went wrong and why it might be your fault. You analyze. You dissect. But you don’t feel any better.
Psychologists define rumination as a passive focus on distress (Nolen-Hoeksema, 1991). You’re not just thinking—you get lost in your thoughts (sometimes for hours!). The diabolical part about rumination is that it can feel productive. There's an unconscious part of the brain that gravitates towards it - thinking that if you keep replaying scenarios and analyzing problems, you might finally find a solution that gives you peace. The problem is, peace rarely comes - and by the time you snap out of it you realize another day has passed.
Why It Doesn’t Help
So why doesn't rumination actually help? Passive thoughts don’t lead to insight. They trap you in repetition. While rumination might feel like problem-solving, it actually functions as emotional avoidance in disguise. When you ruminate, a specific brain network—the Default Mode Network (DMN) gets activated. This network handles self-referential thought, autobiographical memory, and mental time travel (Andrews-Hanna et al., 2010). When you stay in this network for too long, you distance yourself from the present moment, from clarity, and from action.
“Rumination feels like problem-solving, but it’s actually emotional avoidance in disguise.”
The Shift: From Passive Rumination to Active Reflection
One thing that helps with rumination is talking about it out loud (preferably with another human being). Trying to convey your thoughts with another person gives the brain a higher chance to process the problem in a more active manner.
Here’s the key distinction from research by Edward Watkins (2008):
Passive Rumination | Active Reflection |
Vague, repetitive, past-focused | Specific, structured, present-based |
Internal monologue | Shared, spoken dialogue |
Suppresses emotion | Engages emotion |
Avoidance of discomfort | Moves through discomfort |
“Conveying your thoughts to someone out loud can help you get out of your own head.”
Why Talking to a Therapist Can Help
Verbalizing your thoughts with a therapist helps you:
Organize your emotions into a clear story
Interrupt the loop of abstract overthinking
Access new emotional responses
Co-regulate through relational safety
Shift from self-judgment to self-understanding
When you put your thoughts into words, especially with a person who knows how to truly listen, you begin to shift from looping to landing. You land in the present. You hear yourself differently. You access parts of the story that were buried under the noise.
It’s not about venting endlessly. It’s about finding structure, clarity, and emotional truth in the presence of someone who can help you hold it—without judgment, and without rushing you to “fix” it too quickly.
If you’ve been stuck in your head for too long, maybe it’s time to bring those thoughts out into the open. We hope you reach out - let's get you out of that loop together.
Works Cited
Andrews-Hanna, Jessica R., et al. “The Default Network and Self-Generated Thought: Component Processes, Dynamic Control, and Clinical Relevance.” Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, vol. 1316, no. 1, 2014, pp. 29–52. Wiley Online Library, https://doi.org/10.1111/nyas.12360.
Nolen-Hoeksema, Susan. “Responses to Depression and Their Effects on the Duration of Depressive Episodes.” Journal of Abnormal Psychology, vol. 100, no. 4, 1991, pp. 569–582. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.100.4.569.
Watkins, Edward R. “Constructive and Unconstructive Repetitive Thought.” Psychological Bulletin, vol. 134, no. 2, 2008, pp. 163–206. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.134.2.163.
Photo by Pavel Bekker on Unsplash
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