Perimenopause Burnout: How High-Performing Women Can Reclaim Balance

By Michelle Bird, RP(Q) at the Therapy Grove

If Part 1 explained why perimenopause hits so hard, this one is about how to start recovering through perimenopausal burnout. Because let’s be honest — for many women, this season of life doesn’t arrive as a gentle breeze. It shows up like a toddler with a drum kit at 6 a.m.

Hormones start shifting. Sleep becomes unpredictable. Your brain feels foggy on the days you need it most. Meanwhile, the demands of work, parenting, aging parents, relationships, and the occasional attempt at self-care don’t disappear. Add the pressure to keep smiling through it all, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for exhaustion.

Researchers have started calling this the “perfect storm” for midlife burnout. Women in their 40s and 50s report far higher levels of emotional fatigue, cognitive weariness, and stress compared to men in the same stage of life.¹ And while perimenopause is inevitable, feeling like you’re about to unravel doesn’t have to be.

Recovering From Perimenopausal Burnout

1. Stop Pretending It’s “Just Stress”

Most of us were raised to believe we can power through anything if we just try harder. So when perimenopause hits, the instinct is often to grit our teeth and keep going. But this isn’t the same stress you felt cramming for an exam or prepping for a big presentation. Hormonal changes shift how your body and brain respond to pressure.²

This isn’t an excuse. It’s biology. Once you understand that, the shame and self-blame start to soften. You’re not weak. You’re human, and your system is doing its best to adapt.

2. Rethink Perfection

Perfectionism might have helped you climb ladders and crush goals in your twenties and thirties, but in midlife, it turns into a heavy backpack you’re still carrying long after the hike is over. The truth is, no one’s handing out gold stars for spotless baseboards or perfectly curated lunchboxes.

This is the moment to experiment with “good enough.” Maybe the laundry piles a little higher this week. Maybe dinner is cereal. Maybe you skip a workout and nap instead. These aren’t failures — they’re choices that protect your energy. Research shows that self-compassion, not relentless self-criticism, is what actually reduces stress.³

3. Connection is Medicine!

One of the sneakiest things about this stage is how isolating it can feel. You might think you’re the only one struggling to stay afloat while juggling fifty invisible responsibilities. But the truth is, almost every woman you know is probably dealing with some version of this too — they’re just not talking about it.

Talking helps. Support groups, trusted friends, therapy — they’re not signs of weakness. They’re lifelines. Women who receive emotional support during perimenopause report significantly lower anxiety and depression.⁴ There’s a reason humans evolved to rely on community: we’re wired to regulate through connection.

This Season Can Be a Turning Point

Here’s the thing: perimenopause can feel like a storm, but storms clear space. They shake loose what’s no longer working. They force you to look honestly at what’s sustainable and what isn’t. And sometimes, they offer a rare chance to rewrite the rules of how you want to live the next chapter of your life.

Maybe that means lowering the bar. Maybe it means asking for help. Maybe it means saying “no” more often than you say “yes.” Whatever it looks like, this chapter isn’t about trying harder — it’s about living differently.

Need Some Help?

If this stage of life feels heavier than you expected, you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re navigating a major biological shift while balancing expectations that were never meant to be carried by one person.

At Therapy Grove, Michelle Bird works with women in midlife who are exhausted by the pressure to do it all. Together, you’ll sort through what matters, loosen the grip of perfectionism, and build a life that feels more grounded and humane.

Book a free 15-minute consultation and let’s start building space for ease, self-compassion, and a life that feels sustainable — not just survivable.

Book a Free Consult Call

Notes

1. Grace Bai et al., “Burnout and Midlife Stress Among Women and Men: A Population-Based Study,” JAMA Network Open 4, no. 7 (2021): e2116595, https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2780725.

   
   

2. “Perimenopause: Rocky Road to Menopause,” Harvard Health Publishing, 2024, https://www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/perimenopause-rocky-road-to-menopause.

   
   

3. Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive (New York: Guilford Press, 2018).
   

4. Faustino R. Pérez-López et al., “Emotional Support and Psychological Outcomes in Perimenopausal Women,” BMC Women’s Health 22, no. 18 (2022), https://bmcwomenshealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12905-022-01815-5.

   Photo by LaShawn Dobbs on Unsplash